Inquiry #2: Noticing Sonder

We have all heard the expression, put yourself into someone else’s shoes, but do you ever find yourself realizing how many shoes there are around you? I know it sounds kinda silly, doesn’t it? However, I often find myself realizing that there are so many people all around us, each doing their own thing, living their own lives. There is a word for this: it is called sonder. The dictionary definition of this is “the feeling one has on realizing that every other individual one sees has a life as full and real as one’s own, in which they are the central character and others, including oneself, have secondary or insignificant roles.” I found myself observing people as I went about my week, and as I am a university student, a lot of my observations were made around other university students. When I ride the bus, there are tons of people, and I mean tons of people; sometimes, there is barely any standing room. However, it is always interesting to notice the little things. Some students who look stressed and are working on last-minute assignments as they board the bus, while others who look so carefree are listening to their favourite songs. I often find myself wondering what their lives are like, what plans do they have to seize the day; is today just like any other day, or did something big happen today? Who is missing someone, who is ecstatic as they’ve landed a dream job? 

This little exercise of noticing isn’t just something that I do and then forget about. I believe it leads me into a more compassionate lifestyle. I think the more I think and notice others, maybe it’s just that little extra bit of humanity we can give back to the world. I think what I have noticed in my life is that our world is quite individualistic. Oftentimes, I even find myself turning on my phone when I am waiting for something or someone, so that I don’t look out of place, or maybe I turn on my headphones to block out the noise of the world when maybe there was someone I could befriend. These things aren’t inherently bad, but I wonder what they do to us if we don’t put them down and start noticing those around us. 

My theory was that if everyone started to notice those around us, whether it’s on the bus, walking downtown, at work, or through campus, maybe we would start to see that everyone deals with their own battles and victories. Maybe our compassion for one another would grow. Maybe we would start talking to strangers, build more community, and see so much value in a stranger. Just a theory, but I feel as though I can see it in my own life, and that sonder is something I will continue to ponder as I learn more about The Art of Noticing.

Photo by sidorenko on Unsplash

Definition by : SONDER Definition & Meaning | Dictionary.com